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Friday, June 6th, 2014
12:30 am

A predictable pattern. You feel flighty in your current relationship for a period, so you become accessible. Suddenly I'm not bothering you and a step further, I'm not talking to you enough. Test for relate-ability... Sure we get along. So I don't really ever want to entertain it because what's the point, your best friend disappeared years ago. But I don't really ever want that to be true, so I've begun to warm up to you again... and again we get to this point where you have this reassurance that you are were you're supposed to be and then.... the test is over? And... I don't know why I thought I might be getting a friend back. What a silly, stupid thought to entertain.

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Monday, May 9th, 2011
9:04 am

It's strange how we talk about mom, Colin and I.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

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Thursday, February 10th, 2011
1:46 am - DEAR JOURNAL:
This is our 10 year anniversary.  A 14 year old Daryl learned how to be vague on the internet.  With the assistance of poor grammar and a train of thought that never seemed to construct itself in the same manner most thoughts from others do.  HEY BABE

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Monday, December 13th, 2010
6:44 pm

I've been gone for a long time. I could never keep a personal journal. There are a few private entries here... It's hard to roll with the changes these days. I used to be able to read so much of the goings-on of my friends. Now the single person that still clings to writing here is barely a hue in the portrait of my days. It is strange to finally be all 'grown up.' On the floor of a new york penn station, just on your way home 6:00am. (sigh) I used to think people changed very needlessly until a few months ago. For years I believed that people, more specifically my friends, forced unnecessary change into an unchanging world that they or I could barely make claim to having had an honest role of participation.

But that's a little unfair to say, I suppose. A person has to measure them self against something in this world. Over the past year and a half, for me, it's been managing my long term planning. It worked out well for 13 or so months. Saving money in my own irrational way. Just layer cakeslpZG

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Monday, December 6th, 2010
11:32 am - Writer's Block: Television! Is there anything it cannot do?
What is the best new TV series of 2010?

a toss up between Boardwalk Empire and The Walking Dead....  Both were amazing.  Brutally, amazing.

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Wednesday, September 8th, 2010
7:30 pm
Slow slide back into an old miserable life starts now.  

I would give everything to be swallowed up in my own bed tonight, that or on a bus to MA in October.

2am Calltime tomorrow.  Early goodnight

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Sunday, August 29th, 2010
10:28 pm

Some people have no fucking respect. So many people I know are having it rough either just starting their life or in the middle of their adulthood. Just to hear people I love upset because some idiot fuck who probably is in a better of situation decided that they'd impress their friends... Whatever. Fuck people

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Sunday, August 15th, 2010
8:10 pm

Jesus Christ look at where I am again. I wasted soo much time... I might as well be talking to my fucking self. I can't stand being lied under a thin film of morality that's considering a shield to my feelings. Be an adult

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Sunday, August 1st, 2010
6:36 pm

How many times as a child did you beg your parents for something then completely ruin it. Bed them for a toy and set it on or leave it in a sand box. Tie it to a string and throw it out of the window of a moving vehicle. How does that translate as an adult? How does that translate to our relations with other people?

I've been punished multiple times this summer for actually behaving maturely. Not what I think defines maturity but how maturity is reflected in who I am today. Maturity after being a teenager that fills up 16oz cocacola bottles with butane and lights a park on fire. That behavior doesn't go away nor is it repressed. It just matures with knowledge and wisdom.
Sigh
I don't care how people understand my discussion.
I am thoughtful and compassionate. My ideals are actually put into practice in my life. I am honest about who I am and where I'm from and in the same breath I care about how I can relate to others.
Why should I be made to feel like a monster while I'm going through this. I

I wish I was fucking at work.

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Sunday, July 25th, 2010
8:54 am - Reality Check
My birthday was 22 days ago. 

It used to take a full weeks pay to make a five minute phone call 40 years ago.

5 minutes of I love you every 7 days made relationships that last until today.

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Wednesday, July 21st, 2010
9:42 am

Old phone settings from upwards of 6 months ago are making my day of errands very, very difficult

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Saturday, July 10th, 2010
12:25 am
(**Phone Rings**)

Landis: Yoooooo
Me: Predators
Landis: Yes.
Me: Come get me now.
Landis: Let me put some pants on.

(**Hangs Up**)

Me: I'll do the same.

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Thursday, June 10th, 2010
10:20 pm
This summer was going to be full of some very grand gestures but I guess just because things are different now doesn't mean I can't follow through on some things for myself.  I know in September I'm going to be looking for a new line of work, as planned.  I've saved a retarded amount this year with the intention on moving out but now I'm considering going way harder with the whole moving out thing.  There isn't very much here for me at all.  No family and my friends have successfully factioned out into these little miserable isolated universes.  I guess I don't have many options in that regard other than to follow suit.

I think I'm just going to spend a huge chunk of this money and catch up with Jason in Brasil.  I feel like most of the money is just going to go into the innauculzations needed just to enter the country.  

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Monday, June 7th, 2010
6:37 am

None of the alarms I typically set the night before went off. I woke up on my own. I walked to the bus station unaware that I was wearing the blue shirt with a little black ink on it. That was last week. Standing there I hear my phone bliping. I check it to find a reminder that today is the day. And to send the email from several days ago. I read it. I meant it. I mean it. I sent it.

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Friday, June 4th, 2010
7:41 am
obviously today is going to be a great day.... whatever

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Sunday, May 23rd, 2010
9:38 pm - Lost ending prediction

Everyone on the island dies


Lost ends in the parallel universe with all characters aware of the lost universe and it's events.v Everyone is alive and well

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Tuesday, April 27th, 2010
10:48 am




I think everyone should have a 'most-primate-like' photo.
: /

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Thursday, April 1st, 2010
5:39 pm
Sometimes I wish all the effort I put in relationships with people was redirected to just vanishing.

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Tuesday, March 30th, 2010
12:41 am - Summer Skin

Settling into the mindset for a differnt sort of summer. Lots of work and lots of trips. There's a lot of decisions I have to make for myself that have been looming since this past November but they'll be made. This whole year has been just one long excersie in disconnecting from people. A slow turn to back toward the observational lifestyle of a curious adolescent. I went to go visit Deanna for her birthday which was AWESOME! But I'm remembering alot of what I expected in my life as a 22 year old. Everything from that year was eclipsed by a two week stint in the hospital. There are some more 21st and 22nd birthdays coming up for my close friends. I feel like I should be able to relate but it's difficult. What does it mean when I more closely relate to a teenager than a adult?
Meh

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Sunday, March 21st, 2010
12:09 am
in bed, on my stomach. Im open to listening to my body but I'm not sure what it's saying. It's just not alright.

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